I got a hole in me now
I got a scar I can talk about
She keeps a picture of me
In her apartment in the city
Some things in this world
They don't make sense
Some things you don't need
Until they leave you
And they're things that you miss
Matchbox 20
Years ago I was in this amazing relationship with the perfect guy. He was beyond everything I would want in a husband now, not then. I was immature. I wanted that greener grass on the other side of the fence. When he moved me from our house in the burbs to my little apartment in the city and after years of trying to convince him to move closer to the city, we finally ended it. We hung out here and there and one day this song came on and he quoted "I got a scar I can talk about" too. He did and so did I. Well, now I do or have for the last few years when I realized that he was the one who got away. He got engaged and I found out a few weeks ago. I dreaded this day.... and when I found out I was not upset, just very sad and very very disappointed. The other night I had a dream about him again (which I do often), and he was telling me that it was ok and that he still loved me. I am not feeling that I should go after him now or stand up at his wedding (kidding), but I feel he is making a big mistake. I want him to still love me and that ring, originally, I feel was/is mine. Additionally, I feel that he is amazing and deserves someone equally amazing (and I don't think she is). I want the best for him, and maybe that it isn't me, but he can do so much better.
5 comments:
I can relate to this.
That feeling must be miserable. But, don't 2nd guess yourself no matter how hard it is. Everyone has one that got away and they got away for a reason. If if we aren't sure what that is...
That sucks. I wish I could offer advice to you but the only thing I can say is time heals all wounds. I have trouble getting over things too, not relationships but letting go on anger when someone has hurt me so I understand holding onto feelings. I'm sure you will find someone much better someday!
This story is so sad. I'm really sorry you have/had to go through this. All I can say is follow your heart...no matter what it maybe telling you.
oh god. this is brutal. i wish you could talk to him just to make sure he is REALLy into her and that he is not making a mistake. wah. this stuff just tears me up.
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