Seriously???

Relationships. Yuck. Is it me? I am not sure why every person I have dated in the last few years suck all the life from me.

A few weeks ago CD and I had a huge fight. Bad things were said. Things that hurt and I, to be very honest, said things nasty things too (so I am not an innocent party). For months things have been bad, but not really wanting to be single again, I let things go. I have tried to make my point about what bothers me, but he never gets it. He turns it around to be about him and what his needs are and if I was meeting those needs, then he would be there for me more. See what I mean? If you saw us on the street, you would think we were strangers. We aren't a lovey couple. There is no spark. Was there ever? Maybe... I can't remember anymore. It gets better... So since the fight, we haven't discussed what was going to happen, just kind of let it go until we were both calm enough to discuss it... like adults, I thought. CD and I went to the Bruins last night and apparently this was the time for him to feel the need to discuss things. Shocker... cause if I knew this I would not have gone. Actually, it started at the bar that I met him after work in so we could cab over together. Which preceded to continue in the cab and at the game. Fun, right? I know you are jealous. The kicker was for me that he started the conversation totally wrong, so all I could hear the whole time was negativity.
He said "loved". Past tense. I, of course, caught that. So now, all I hear is that... I tried to still have a good time. I am not a pouter and his friends were there too, so I didn't want anyone to know something was wrong, but I was very upset on the inside. I also heard that he is so consumed with everything else in his life there is no room for me. That hurts too, but it is ok. I am fine. I am ok... I think sometimes, it just helps to know where you stand. To be honest, I loved him too (past tense), but I am not a settler.... this is probably why I am 33 and single. But seriously, enough of the BS already. As of now, I am not sure where things stand, but even though I didn't think this conversation was fair, it happened and we can move on. And that makes me feel like a 200lb weight has been lifted from my shoulders.